Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
