There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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