So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
