So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
