I can tuck mytits in my pants
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
