If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
