Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
