we're blogging at a bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
