remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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