Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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