You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
