I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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