you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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