I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
