3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
