o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
