And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
