He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
