Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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