White coat. Heels.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize