no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
