I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
