people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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