i just google imaged poop.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
