i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Four minutes until I can fart!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
