i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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