Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
