I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
