i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
