why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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