I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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