i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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