I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
