So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
