bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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