They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Randomize
