sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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