Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
