lets start a swedish sibling band together
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize