Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
