Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
