It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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