I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
