Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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