Already got asked if we're dating
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
