Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
