So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
