Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
