So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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