3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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