i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
