Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
