U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
