you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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