New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My bed smells like the plague
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
