The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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