at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
