and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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