I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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