She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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