pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
