i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
