nut hugger
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My dick has a subreddit
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
