I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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