i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
