Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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