ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
